The lavish nuptials of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce were obsessed over in the way that we typically reserve for talking about moon landing conspiracies. The BBC did a live blog of the event, which mostly involved updates on what was happening outside of Madison Square Garden. The guest list reportedly included a thousand of the happy couple’s closest friends. There were claims that the pair had a replica castle built within the mighty windowless box that is New York City’s most famous arena. We don’t know quite what the big day looked like but will probably find out when Swift drops the spectacular wedding special on Disney+ with a tie-in album that includes dozens of variants the colours of her bouquet. Suffice to say, it was probably a very dramatic event.
Fans waited outside of MSG hoping for a glimpse of, well, something, but the glitzy details have been kept out of our grasp, most likely because Swift and Kelce plan to do something big with them. Maybe a magazine spread? Or a film? Or a new album themed around their I Dos? It seems inevitable with this couple, and by the time this is published, maybe it will have already happened. Once upon a time, weddings like this were something of a celebrity status quo. Nowadays, the public obsession over famous nuptials is a less sturdy complex.
Celebrity weddings used to be a bigger industry than they are now. Two decades ago, it was the norm for A-Listers to sign exclusive agreements with tabloids and magazines that would allow them to cover the day for the right price. Decades before that, fan magazines poured over every juicy detail of an actor’s wedding, with information fed to them by their studio bosses. In the ’80s and ’90s, those celebrities who didn’t make such deals risked paparazzi invasion.
When Madonna married Sean Penn, an event they tried to keep private by initially passing it off as a joint birthday party, one photographer disguised himself in camo gear to hide in the bushes. Helicopters overed over the cliffside house where they said their vows, almost blowing Madonna‘s veil off her head and making it impossible for guests to hear the bride and groom talk. When her son, Rocco Ritchie, was born, his christening was quietly invaded by a photographer who hid inside the organ of the church for 60 hours to snap pictures. Yes, he was caught. And yes, he wore plastic binbags to deal with his bodily waste.
Photographers used helicopters and telescopic lenses to get shots of Jessica Chastain’s wedding, breaching a no-fly zone in the process. Tina Turner’s wedding to Erwin Bach was similarly invaded by a Swiss tabloid with a helicopter. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas had signed an exclusive deal with OK! for their wedding, so Hello, that magazine’s biggest competitor, had a photographer sneak in to take some quick shots so they could put it on the cover first. That led to a major legal case over the couple’s right to privacy.
It’s pretty bananas and genuinely insidious that such things were the norm for so long. Planning a wedding is a stressful enough endeavour without having to worry if a guy with poop in his binbag trousers is hiding in the rafters waiting to invade your privacy. So, it’s no wonder so many celebrities did the big-money deals. I’m sure the cash was a salve, and the business opportunities were plentiful, of course. For many famous people, living a life where everything is copy is an endless cycle of branding. Weddings are perfectly compatible with that philosophy, and the average person is encouraged to buy into it too.
So, how do you plan a big event like this and keep it tight-knit? Not everyone has MSG money, after all. The brief answer is: NDAs. Like, a veritable f**kton of NDAs. Make everyone sign them: guests, caterers, waiters, the officiant, florists, the ring-bearing kitten, and so on. Mobile phones are either banned or put in pouches to prevent a surreptitious snap that could be leaked. Truly, you cannot trust anyone. Even your best friend might make a slip that someone will overhear and sell to TMZ. Bookers and vendors may offer to do things without in-person visits and use aliases throughout the planning process. And, of course, you must hire more security than the Pope. Keep that perimeter well-watched.
Money can cover a lot of this, even if you don’t have a big sponsorship or influencer-esque brand deal to help ease the pain. The flipside is that your fight for privacy can intrude on other people’s lives. Plenty of business-owners in the near-vicinity of Madison Square Garden were peeved at the possibility of their earnings being hit by the mass security around the venue. The Bezoses took over Venice, which the populace protested mightily, decrying the billionaire’s flagrant disregard for their lives and the welfare of the city.
The other option is simpler: elope. There’s no guarantee you won’t be followed – Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s beach wedding was photographed from the ocean by someone with a very long lens–but if you do it well, you can go months without anyone finding out it even happened.
Nowadays, bigger stars either keep things studiously private (see Tom Holland and Zendaya) or give us glimpses of the fun via a classier, more clout-driven publication like Vogue (see Dua Lipa and Callum Turner.) It’s rarer for a power couple to want the happiest day of their lives to become a capital-E Event that is, in part, crafted to strengthen their brand and appeal to their doting public. Jeff and Lauren Bezos tried it, forgetting that we hate those tacky losers and no amount of lace and speedboats across Venice would change our minds. The only time we really get these for-the-public weddings is when royalty marries, and that’s because monarchies need us plebs to buy into the fantasy to keep them relevant. Influencers are trying it, but being so brazen in their sponsored content on what is meant to be a day of pure selfless emotion turns off a lot of people. No, I don’t want you to shill for a make-up palette while you’re waiting for your first dance with your husband. Tact, babes.
Celebrity weddings are an undeniably appealing spectacle. Love is for everyone and celebrating it is one of the few truly relatable qualities we share with the rich and famous. We’re also just a nosy species that likes to peek into other people’s lives, and to see how they spend their money. We love judging anyone who we think is tackier than us, and fawning over those who “do rich right.” It’s human nature to want to experience some of that residual joy from the celebs we love. That’s why it became the hot-button business it is now. But in the era of stronger privacy laws, decreased physical media payouts, and the scourge of social media, it’s no wonder why those who could once profit from their big day are now keeping it out of the spotlight. I wonder if the Swift-Kelce wedding will lead to a round of copycats from other celebrities, or if this was a true generational one-off from a once-in-a-lifetime AAA-Lister. Whatever the case, however she sells it will lead to a legendary payday.
