A shock murder, a Hollywood-style mission and yet another Round Table misfire left things tantalisingly poised for the final. Here are all the treacherous talking points…
Celia Imrie’s real Thursday Murder Club
We’d feared for Celia Imrie as the obvious next target. After all, she was the only remaining Faithful with no cloud of suspicion around her for the Traitors to exploit. Although, there might have been a cloud of flatulence.
The dirty work of murdering the “queen of the castle” fell to Alan Carr, who had to toast her with the Romeo and Juliet line, “Parting is such sweet sorrow”. At the congratulatory dinner party for the final seven – all maximalist tablescaping, flickering candlelight and popping corks – Carr went quiet, daunted by his risky task. As the clock ticked, he eventually pulled it off by attributing the highfalutin quotation to departed brainiac Stephen Fry.
It was his second murder in plain sight, following Paloma Faith way back in episode two, but this one was more public and theatrical. Yet Carr appeared to get away with it.
Cat Burns and Alan Carr – BBC
There were shocked gasps at breakfast, but the Faithful were soon speculating about poisoned cheeseboards, the possible significance of sun-dried tomatoes and “chutney murders”. So much for hyper-vigilance.
Exiting stage right with a heavy heart, Imrie wondered if she’d paid the price for rallying the troops against Jonathan Ross. Her departure made Joe Marler even more determined. “I’m sick of this,” he fumed. “The Traitors are taking out some lovely people. I’m not having it anymore. I need to get them gone.”
Kate Garraway became ‘Kate Gone-away’
‘Curiosity Kate’ was given her marching orders – BBC
At the Round Table, pressure immediately mounted on Kate Garraway. Was she a Traitor or just a bad Faithful? Cat Burns voiced doubts about her asking plenty of questions but providing no answers – an accusation that “Curiosity Kate” has faced throughout the contest. She could surely have addressed this by simply being more vocal, but somehow failed to do so. A fatal error.
Joe didn’t buy her protestations of innocence, insisting it was either Kate or David Olusoga, and wondering whether Jonathan Ross’s vote for the latter at the previous Round Table was a parting shot at his fellow Traitor. Nick Mohammed did believe Kate, instead saying he could imagine Cat as Ross’s quiet co-conspirator. She brushed this off coolly, then was able to sit back as proceedings descended into a squabble between Kate and David, which merely made them both look defensive and guilty.
Once again, the Faithful were distracted from hard evidence by perceived behavioural patterns. Come chalkboard time, Kate received three votes to David’s two. She bowed out with a poignant speech, leaving the Faithful with heads in their hands. “You’ve lost one of your own at a pivotal point in the game,” said host Claudia Winkleman. Six defeats out of seven Round Tables remains the worst record in any UK series. Awkward.
Behold our five finalists
Going into the final, Cat Burns is the sole female contestant – Euan Cherry/BBC/Studio Lambert
It’s a male-heavy finale, with just Cat as the last woman standing, alongside Alan, Joe, Nick and David. With a shorter series and the Traitors surviving so long, there has been no need for plot twists such as recruitments and seers.
Instead, we have a closely balanced final with three Faithful versus two Traitors – the same ratio as the first two “civilian” series. The debut run was won by three Faithful, the second by a lone Traitor. An omen?
Have the Traitors run out of road?
Nick Mohammed battles the lasers – BBC
In the Land Rovers to and from that headless statues mission at the creepy “castle museum” – wonder how much budget was blown on those red lasers? – the speculation reached fever pitch. Joe correctly theorised that Alan was a Traitor who uses comedy to deflect and defuse, but he didn’t have enough backing, so kept his powder dry. For now.
Carr’s conclave colleague Cat came under suspicion from both Nick and David. The latter also posited that Joe could be a maverick Traitor, ploughing his own furrow rather than working as a turret team. With surprising subtlety, Alan steered them back onto David or Kate.
In the aftermath of the Round Table – when it was too late to save the innocent but inept Kate – Joe brought down his metaphorical gavel. He was now convinced that Cat and Alan were Traitors. His tactics were to keep close to them, stay in the game, then pull the rug out from under the duo at the last moment. “Sorry, Traitors, I’m coming for you,” he concluded. Nick has a similar strategy. Now they just have to pull off their plan…
Bungled vow and flimsy promise
From now on the remaining contestants will be forced to rely on instinct – BBC
Time for one last flourish to tee up next week’s grand finale. A masked drummer outside the castle summoned the finalists to the firepit, where Winkleman informed them that nobody was getting murdered tonight. Phew. However, from now on, they must rely solely on trust and instinct, because banished players will no longer reveal their true identity.
She then asked them to look their fellow players in the eye one by one and say: “I am a Faithful.” Predictably, Alan promptly got the giggles, which Joe took as a further red flag. Up in the conclave for one last plotting session, Carr and Cat made a pinkie promise of “Traitors for life”. Do we believe them? Sweet dreams, final five. If it’s possible after all that cheese.
Key castle stats
Best moment: Alan Carr’s nervous giggle at the firepit. Could it prove his undoing? But kudos to him for noting of the statues’ heads that “Clare Balding looks like Boris Johnson”.
Best quote: “That was better than my wedding day,” deadpanned Claudia Winkleman when they completed the headless statues mission in the nick of time.
Best Traitor: Cat Burns remains ice-cool, but the Faithful could be onto her at last.
Best Faithful: Joe Marler is leader of the pack, with Nick Mohammed loyally by his side.
Winkleman wardrobe watch: A pair of scene-stealing monochrome knits: a shaggy white jumper at breakfast and a black tank top with sparkly icicles at Round Table.
Prize pot: All £14,000 banked on the Crystal Maze-style mission takes the prize fund to £67,500 out of a possible £80,000 for the winner’s chosen charity. One mission remains to top it up further.
Body count: A murder in plain sight and a bungled banishment means we’ve got two Traitors versus three Faithful for the endgame.
Next up: It’s now an agonising week-long wait for the grand finale – an extended 70-minute episode that airs next Thursday at 9pm. After an explosive mission, can the Faithful banish all their foes to secure victory? Or will the Traitors pull off their deception until the bitter end? Meet you back here for one last dastardly debrief.
